Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
