I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
