Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
