I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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