the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
