dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
