Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
