erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
