Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
