I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Randomize
