Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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