Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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