Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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