I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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