You can't special order awesome
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
