remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Maybe he injected his testicle?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize