Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
