there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
