I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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