Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
