my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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