would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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