Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
