I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
