Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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