I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
