I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
