Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
