I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
