This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
