Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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