Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
