i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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