Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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