I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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