we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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