Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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