is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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