Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
