He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
