return my video game
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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