you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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