All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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