I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Is that strawberry winking at me??
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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