mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
