NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
