Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize