hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
