just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize