i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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