I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I am spending my child support on dildos
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize