Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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