it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My vagina just recognized that song.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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