so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
