I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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