i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I skipped work to stalk him.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
