Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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