dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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