Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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