Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Randomize
